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I know, many of us cringe when we hear the word submit! It has a very negative connotation and it’s easy to think that God thought less of females when we read scripture that includes the word. What would you say if I told you we’ve got it all wrong? That’s not what God meant. Our pastor continues to open my eyes to the way God’s word is easily misinterpreted.
The text for the basis of this sermon is from one of Paul’s letters. Let’s look at it.
18”Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
19Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
20Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
21”Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.”
Colossians 3:18-21 NIV
We live in a world full of hurt and because of that we become self-reliant, combative, and angry!
We say we believe in God, we love, but we don’t follow. His ways don’t exactly fit our lifestyle that we’ve created for ourselves. How’s that workin’ out so far?
Fix the problem. Follow Christ in obedience.
I know, you think followers of Christ have too many rules to follow and can’t ever have any fun! We’ll explore that in a minute.
What would happen if you’d put Christ first in your marriage? God would bless the union.
Back to that dirty word — SUBMIT. It says wives, submit to your husband. He is the only man you are to submit to. It doesn’t cancel equality. It doesn’t many one of you has more worth than the other, that one of you is better, smarter, wiser or that one is a slave to the other.
What does the word submit mean? The military use of the word means to rank under someone else. In other words, you submit to their authority. Leadership of the family falls on the man. There needs to be order whether we’re talking about family or a sports team. On a sports team there is an order of rank. The quarterback may be the leader of the offensive squad when they’re on the field, but he submits to the leadership of the offensive coordinator, quarterback coach, head coach and team owner to name a few. If the team works together because they want to win, they want to surround themselves with the smartest people in various skills. They need someone to develop strategies, statisticians to keep track of the numbers, someone to provide medical support and bring water to the players in the huddle. What would the game be like without officials to enforce the rules. It would probably be a free for all, right?
It’s the same way in a family. We each have our strengths and they should be used to benefit the family. That’s why it’s good to communicate so that we’re on the same page. Just because your spouse may not be involved in the finances, it doesn’t mean they don’t care about the money. It may mean that they trust whoever is in charge. Communication is still important though so that support is felt.
When you love someone it is voluntary to submit under someone. The wife submits to the husband because she knows that he loves her and the children and he’s doing his best to make the decisions that are for good. Listen to each other and keep God at the center of the marriage. He is the ultimate leader of your family. Do your best to consult Him on major decisions and teach your children to trust in him.
Husbands are to love their wives and not be harsh with them. It’s agape love. A sacrificial love that shows honor, respect, value, protection, to guard over her and show that you delight in her. You’re concerned about her well-being.
Husbands continually deny themselves for their family. They’ll often go without something they would like to do or have in lieu of something the wife or kids need. He loves his family the way God does and this protects against resentment.
Husbands may feel resentment when there is no expression of appreciation from the wife or kids. He needs to feel appreciation for leadership of the family. Resentment grows from being beat down, not taking time to communicate. They keep it inside and seem insensitive because they don’t talk about what bothers them.
Men and women are designed differently. The blessings are for your good. The differences help us provide a balance for our families.
Children, obey your parents to please the Lord. Listen to them because they’ve been where you are. Experience leads to good choices. Parents want what’s best for their children.
There is a scope of obedience in all things. The act of worship pleases God. We see the ultimate in obedience when we see the sacrifice that Jesus made willingly for us.
Parents, don’t say maybe to children as it creates hope when it may be futile.
- Don’t say yes, when you really mean no.
- Don’t make promises you can’t keep.
- Don’t have unrealistic expectations that put undue stress on your children.
- Don’t show favoritism between your children. It creates completions between them for your love and attention.Love them each uniquely.
- Don’t nag. It becomes incessant noise that they eventually don’t even listen to.
- Don’t design punishments that far exceed the reasonable.
- Don’t ignore.
You will never get back the times that you let slip away. Resentment is the result when children think they aren’t good enough.
Ladies,
- Don’t submit if you are asked to sin.
- Don’t submit if your husband is suffering from mental illness or under the influence of drugs.
- Don’t submit if he is violent physically or threatening you.
Husbands,
Don’t show anger to vent. Men won’t tell you when they’re hurting because it seems lot seems like weakness to them.
Kids,
Do what your parents say.
Ladies, don’t submit to any man except your husband. You deserve someone who loves you and will care for you. Don’t marry someone thinking he’s going to change.
This is kind of a hard lesson to hear because most of us have made terrible mistakes along the way. It doesn’t mean that God can’t help us work things out when we invite him into our homes and ask Him to help us mend our families and relationships.
The same scripture sounds different in another Peterson’s version of the Bible.
Wives, understand and support your husbands by submitting to them in ways that honor the Master.
Husbands, go all out in love for your wives. Don’t take advantage of them.
Children, do what your parents tell you. This delights the Master no end.
Parents, don’t come down too hard on your children or you’ll crush their spirits.
This seems to be a kinder interpretation. What is the most important command? It seems like it certainly applies here.
”You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and first commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.”
Love each other in ways that honor the cross.
In Faith,
Pam
Where God Leads 