Every family is dysfunctional is some way, but we can find a way to transform this unit into a cohesive group. But it requires us to be transparent, which isn’t always easy. There’s no such thing as a perfect family. Divorce is and has been around 50% for many years.
Parents find plenty of ways to mess us up. I’m a parent, too, and despite the perfect family we might have appeared to some people, we’ve had our problems, too.
As parents, we transfer our insecurities to our children. We put pressure on our children to be good based on our own insufficiencies.
We’ll be talking about Joseph’s family, you know, the lineage of Abraham whom God called righteous. I think there’s hope for you and I!
Abraham believes in God’s promise for his lineage to be numerous, but he doesn’t have the patience to wait for God’s timing, so he definitely messes things up there by having a son, Ishmael, with Sarah’s hand servant. And as a turn of events would have it, when blessing his son Jacob, Abraham told him not to marry a Canaanite woman. Esau heard this and knowing it would displease his father, he went to Ishmael and married his daughter in addition to his other wives.
We’re barely started into the dysfunction in this family and I’ve already skipped over the deception when Abraham passed his wife off as his sister to King Abimelech. This was very upsetting to the King and he sent them on their way. But Isaac repeats the same deception with King Abimelech, possibly the same King his father did this to.
Back to Jacob. His Uncle Laban tricked him into marrying his oldest daughter, Leah, when Jacob thought he was marrying Rebekah. This caused a huge rivalry between the sisters because Leah had children and Rebekah wasn’t able to conceive. But, when she did, her son, Joseph was Jacob’s favorite and he didn’t try to hide it.
The coat that Jacob gave Joseph caused problems that we’ll have to talk about in another blog post. For now let’s point out what we can do to stave off these problems in our own families?
God still has a plan for your life. You aren’t the person you used to be nor the person you will become.
Here are guidelines for avoiding dysfunction in your family.
- Avoid partiality, it devalues.
- Love uniquely, not equally.
Sit and talk to your kids. They pick up on it when you don’t value your time with them. Give up all of you to spend time with them or you will live to regret it.
3. Don’t crush your kid’s spirits.
Joseph had a dream that caused his brothers to hate him. Jacob knew of the rift between them. Maybe he could have shared words of wisdom with Joseph, but he chose not to intervene.
The root of murder is anger. Jealousy, bitterness, hatred….We allow it to happen when we don’t say a word.
If we are oblivious, we are blind to how to discipline our children. It paralyzes us.
There will be times you have to stand up. Don’t be a doormat. As parents we can’t be passive
We are children of children. We’re all fighting a battle.
God’s not done with me yet! The best days are yet to come.
AVOID FAMILY DYSFUNCTION!
- AVOID PARTIALITY
- DESTROY PASSIVITY
- CHANGE PERSPECTIVE
- CELEBRATE UNIQUENESS
- LET THEM GO
As a parent, our job is to prepare them for life. There comes a time when we have to let them go and trust that we’ve prepared them for it.
Until next week…
In Faith,
Pam
Where God Leads 